shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
