I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
