Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
