I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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