Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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