i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
