I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
