That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
