Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
