I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
