first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You made out with two different species that night
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
