Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
