She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
