but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
