He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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