Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
