Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
