i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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