so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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