We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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