we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
