there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
