Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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