Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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