Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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