You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
