Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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