I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
