the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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