Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
