I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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