my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
