I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
