So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
