i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
