What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
