Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
