She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
