well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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