Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Randomize
