He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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