they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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