he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
