You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
