Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
we're so committed to being not committed
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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