You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
