To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
