Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
