If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Randomize
