So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
