Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
