you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
