I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
