She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
