remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
