im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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