..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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