At least make sure they are 18
Why
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The power of my boobs compel you
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
