I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This is my gift to your gina
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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