Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We need to rekindle our bromance
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
