The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
