I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
