You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
