Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
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Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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