And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We have started to decorate penises.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
